Forgiveness is not always easy, especially when we have been deeply hurt. In this week’s devotional, Chaplain Shelby reflects on what it means to forgive as God forgave us and how turning to Him can help us respond with grace, love and humility.

“God is all about Forgiveness” 

Forgiveness is something I think we all struggle with at one time or another. Sometimes we struggle to forgive someone who has hurt us, and other times we are the ones seeking forgiveness for something we have done. We may even find ourselves struggling most of all with forgiving ourselves for mistakes we have made in the past. We can be remorseful and truly want to make things right, but I am not sure we always fully understand what true forgiveness looks like, or the real cost of forgiveness.

I recently read an article from Christianity Today entitled “God is all about Forgiveness” written by Ann Peterson, and here is what she wrote, and I quote: “God tells us to be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other, just as He forgave us. (Ephesians 4:32) I think at times we have a different way of looking at forgiveness.”

We sometimes make our decision to forgive based on the amount of hurt we experience. A small offense is easier to forgive. But when something pierces our hearts, that’s another story. And yet God tells us we are to forgive as He forgave us. That means we must forgive as He did. Did we deserve forgiveness? No, we didn’t. And yet Jesus forgave us. We’re supposed to forgive as He did.

Sometimes we try to fool ourselves into believing we’ve forgiven someone when in reality, we’ve just pushed it out of our minds or down inside of us. Pushing our emotions down doesn’t help. They will surface, and sometimes it’s not pretty when they do. When we bottle up our feelings, we don’t get to sort them out calmly and prayerfully. Instead of choosing which words to say and which to hold back, they all push and shove each other, demanding to be heard.

Solomon was wise when he said, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Our words can be like gasoline on fire. We stand there watching the flames shoot up for feet above us. While we attempt to justify our actions, God tells us to respond in love and to forgive.

Remember when Joseph was wrongly accused? Even after being wronged, he chose forgiveness. God worked it all together for good (Romans 8:28).

Time is a precious commodity. We can waste it, or we can let God show us how to redeem it. In the case of disagreements, we can be open to God showing us the part we played. We can ask God to soften our hearts as well as the hearts of those we hurt. He is more than willing to do that. You see, God is for unity. Satan is not. So, when we are at odds with someone, the enemy is happy.

What’s the answer? When you are in the heat of a battle, breathe and send up a prayer to the Lord. Ask Him to silence any word that will not be for the other person. Pray that God will show you how you can be more loving. When we care more about the other person than we do about our own feelings, we move in the right direction. God tells us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility to consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3).

Whenever we are planning what we will say next, we are focused on ourselves. I am not responsible for what the other person says, but I am responsible for the words that come out of my mouth.

I don’t believe we can truly forgive each other apart from the Lord. We get in the way too much. We try to justify our own actions. Maybe because we care more about ourselves, or about being right.

If we commit our interactions to God, the Holy Spirit will show us where we need to be more loving, more forgiving. And then we have a choice. Will we choose to hold onto our hurt and store it away with the hurts of the past? Or will we forgive as we were forgiven? When God forgave us, He forgave us completely.

God will give us grace for our interactions with others because God loves unity. And God is all about forgiveness. He really is.

From the Heart,

Chaplain Shelby